The other night I was talking to one of my friends who is currently seeing a boy. He’s just gotten out of a long relationship so he doesn’t want commitment, and although she does, she’s going along with it because she doesn’t want to lose him. She said that the other night she decided she wanted a new attitude. Before she even told me what she was talking about, I knew what she meant. You know that point where you just go ARGH FUCK THIS and say to yourself “Ok. Fuck being a girl, I’m going to play it like a guy.” You tell yourself not to message him heaps. You tell yourself not to care. Being a boy doesn’t sound too bad, does it? Well I once became a boy. I told myself exactly what my friend told herself many times, but eventually finally succeeded. I did not care. I did not have to tell myself not to message. I did not go out of my way to restore damaged friendships. I had finally become that person I’d always wanted to be. And you know what? I would rather cry. I would rather hurt. I would rather love, fight, worry, laugh, and I would rather care. 'Maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment… you never gave up hope.' So I’ve decided I’m going to wait for someone. Someone who fascinates me, someone who I can be crazy about. Someone who I can love and who will love me. And as jealous as you might be of them, in the end, people who play those games are just people with a broken heart and no hope left. I believe it is the hopeless romantics who have someone to grow old with. And I am, to my very core, a true hopeless romantic.